


Five Time Eridan Cried Alone, And The One Time He Used Someone Else's Shoulder

by RayenOfDeadStarsAndPlanets



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crossdressing, Cutting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 14:31:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayenOfDeadStarsAndPlanets/pseuds/RayenOfDeadStarsAndPlanets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just what it says on the tin. I love Eridan really badly and I hate hurting him but....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Time Eridan Cried Alone, And The One Time He Used Someone Else's Shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> WHAT AM I DOING. BABY I DON’T WANNA HURT YOU. –cuddles Eridan-  
> Note: cross-dressing in the chapter. Also cutting. And sadness. Plus eating disorder and body image issues as well as psychosis. Mild anyway. I love this troll. I really do. I just like hurting him while staying to his character.  
> Pre-Eridan’s whole “MURDER EVERYONE MUST HAVE GENOCIDE” break down. Which I will address.  
> BY THE WAY. ALL THE TROLLS AND ALL THE HUMANS ON ONE METEOR. that is all.

You choke back tears and sobs as you overhear Tezeri and Feferi and Aranea and Meenah laughing about you and how ugly you are in your skirt.

You were only trying to be pretty and get them to like you.

_(such an ugly fucking boy. useless. worthless. freak.)_

Not even your own morail liked you.

_(why would she? you’re nothing. you don’t deserve her.)_

Looks like tonight would be another night stained with tears and blood.

 _(go slit your wrists you fucking waste of space. out of every troll on the planet, why did the game save **YOU**_ _out of all of them, the useful ones?)_

 You turn on your heel, their vicious laughter still filling your head and ears, clogging every spare inch in your head till there’s no room left. Till there’s only room for it and the horrible(ly **_LOUD_** _ ~~screaming, violent deadly calling for blood.~~_ ) voice mocking you every step you take.

And the voice just screams at you sometimes, screaming about slaughtering everybody and letting their blood flow.

_(start with that fucking whore of an heiress. no? how about then we start with **YOURS.** )_

You storm past Jake, angrily swiping at tears still flowing down your cheeks.

“Are you alright old chap?” You hear him shout as you disappear into your room.

“I-I’m fine. Thanks for asking, I guess.” You say closing the door behind you.

As it slides closed, you stand, leaning against it and slowly sink to the floor, where you finally let the tears flow. Royal purple stains your skin and clothes.

As you stare down into your lap, glaring holes into your skirt, you realize that you don’t want to ruin it, even as much as you want to tear it to shreds because it’s _not working!!!_

You stand on shaky legs and pull off your top, revealing scars, stretching from your collarbone down to your hips, long swollen scars, evidence of long sleepless nights filled with the voice calling for blood.

As you slid off your leggings and gloves, it reveals more and more scars, some horizontal, some vertical, some crisscrossing others, some old and some very, **_very_** _new._

Standing naked in your room, tears running down your face, words carved into your skin,

_(loser, freak, useless, why bother, whore, can’t do anything right, fat, ugly boy, never be pretty.)_

some overlapping, dug messily into your back with the help of a mirror.

_(why would anyone want you like this? pathetic. look what you’ve done to yourself.)_

Standing naked in front of the mirror, you stare at your mutilated body. With a wipe across your face you stumble to the abulation trap to shower in water as hot as possible.

Under the spray you finally break down and sob your broken heart out, letting the hot water scald your back and wash your tears down the drain.

You collapse onto the floor and curl into a corner and simply cry.

It’s not the first time and it’s certainly not going to be the last.

**Author's Note:**

> ERIDAN I'M SORRY. I LOVE YOU.


End file.
